R U OK? Day, happens every year on the second Thursday of September and is a reminder that a single conversation can make a real difference. This year it’s on the 10 September 2026. It is a day to remind us to check in with the people around us, to notice when someone seems a little unlike themselves and to create space for an honest exchange.
At SDECC, R U OK? Day resonates deeply. Many of the young people we support have said that one conversation, with a friend, a parent, a teacher or a counsellor, was what helped them take the first step toward getting support. Not a formal intervention. Not a crisis. Just someone who noticed and asked.
This year, we want to talk about a specific kind of conversation: what to say when the person you are checking in with is also navigating alcohol or other drug use.
You don’t need to have all the answers
R U OK? is clear on this: you don’t need to be a mental health expert to check in with someone. You don’t need to have the perfect words, know exactly what to say, or be able to fix what is happening. What matters most is that you notice, ask with care, listen without judgement, and let the person know they are not alone.
“Sometimes people hold back because they worry they won’t say the right thing. But asking ‘Are you OK?’ is not about having all the answers it’s about showing someone they matter, making space to listen, and being willing to stay connected”. Dominique Robert-Hendren, CEO and Clinical Psychologist, SDECC
This applies just as much between friends as it does between parents and young people. Young people are often the first to notice when a friend is not quite themselves. Paying attention, naming what you have noticed, and gently checking in can take courage but it can also be the moment that helps someone feel seen, supported, and safer to talk.
What to notice
Sometimes the signs that someone is struggling are subtle. R U OK? encourages people to trust their instincts: if someone seems a little quieter than usual, more withdrawn, less engaged with things they normally enjoy, or just not quite themselves, that gut feeling is worth acting on.
When alcohol or other drug use is involved, some additional signs to be aware of include a friend or young person seeming less open about how they are spending their time, seeming more anxious, low or irritable than usual, pulling away from friendships or activities they used to enjoy, or mentioning that they are using substances to manage stress, sleep or difficult feelings.
These signs don’t always mean that something is wrong, but they can be a gentle cue to pause, notice, and check in.
How to start
R U OK? suggests four steps that can guide a meaningful conversation: Ask, Listen, Encourage Action and Check In. These steps can help create a safe, caring exchange between friends, within families, or between a parent and young person. They are especially helpful when someone seems withdrawn, overwhelmed, or not quite themselves.
Ask
Keep it simple and warm. A question like “How are you going?” or “You’ve seemed a bit quiet lately, are you okay?” Can be enough to open the door. You don’t need to raise every concern at once or know exactly where the conversation will lead. Start by creating space, showing care, and letting the person respond in their own way.
“A young person may not share what is really going on straight away, and that is okay. The most important thing is to make it safe for them to talk when they are ready. Staying calm, listening with curiosity, and letting them know you are glad they opened up can make a difficult conversation feel less frightening”. Dominique Robert-Hendren, CEO and Clinical Psychologist, SDECC
Listen
R U OK? asks us to listen with an open mind: don’t interrupt, don’t rush and don’t judge. This is especially important when alcohol or other drugs come up. Creating a space free of judgement makes it easier for someone to keep talking.
If you are not sure what to say, reflecting back what you have heard is enough. “That sounds like it’s been a lot to manage” or “I’m glad you told me” go a long way.
Encourage action
You don’t need to solve everything. Encouraging action might simply mean asking “Is there anyone you feel like you could talk to about this?” or “Would it help to find out what support is available?” You can share that there are free, confidential services available for young people where no referral is needed, and that asking for support is something many young people do.
“Sometimes the most helpful next step is staying with the person, helping them name what they need, or gently reminding them that support is available when they are ready. Encouraging action does not mean taking over or trying to fix the problem. It can be a gentle conversation about what might help next, who they feel safe talking to, and how they would like to be supported. Small, practical steps can make reaching out feel less overwhelming”. Dominique Robert-Hendren, CEO and Clinical Psychologist, SDECC
Check in
R U OK? reminds us that the conversation doesn’t end when you say goodbye. Following up, even a few days later with a simple “Hey, just thinking of you, how are you going?” signals that your care is genuine and ongoing. For young people especially, knowing that someone continues to notice and care can be profoundly important.
When to suggest professional support
Sometimes a conversation brings up something that feels too big for one person to carry alone. If a friend or young person has been struggling for more than a couple of weeks, seems to be turning to substances more often to manage day-to-day feelings or experiences, or has expressed that things feel hopeless or overwhelming, it may be time to gently suggest speaking with someone who can offer professional support.
“One of the most caring things we can do is help make support feel closer and more possible. That might mean sitting with the person while they look at options, helping them think about who they trust, offering to make a call together or simply saying, ‘You don’t have to do this on your own’, ‘I’ll come with you’. Reaching out early can help a difficult time feel less isolating and more manageable”. Dominique Robert-Hendren, CEO and Clinical Psychologist, SDECC
About SDECC
Sydney Drug Education and Counselling Centre (SDECC) provides free, confidential AOD counselling and early intervention support for young people aged 12 to 25 and their families across Northern Sydney, including Manly, St Leonards, Ryde, Hornsby, Chatswood and Avalon Beach.
No referral is required. No Medicare card is needed. Young people can self-refer, and parents, carers, schools and GPs can also make contact on behalf of a young person.
SDECC’s counsellors take a trauma-informed, evidence-informed approach that considers the full context of a young person’s life. Support is available for the young person, for parents and carers and for the families and communities around them.
On R U OK? Day and every day, SDECC walks alongside young people, whatever they are navigating, wherever they are in their journey.
To find out more or to get in touch, visit sdecc.org.au or call (02) 9977 0711.
Where to get help
If there is an immediate risk to someone’s safety, call 000.
- Lifeline: 13 11 14
- Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800
- Mental Health Line (NSW): 1800 011 511
- National Alcohol and Other Drug Hotline: 1800 250 015
- 13YARN: 13 92 76
- eheadspace online chat: headspace.org.au
- R U OK? resources and conversation guides: ruok.org.au